In partnership with

“I’m in a strange garbage can.”

Actual quote from me to Jake mid-attempt to sleep at 3:16AM.

I woke up to myself saying this, then elaborated “I’ve been stuck in this giant garbage can full of stuffed animals and there’s a claw machine and it won’t grab me.”

WTF are our brains doing to us in the middle of the night?

4:46AM: Roll over to look at my phone. I thought it was already past 6 and my alarm would be going off.

5:56AM: Alarm about to sound. I’m not even sure if I’ve fallen asleep yet.

My mind has always been a Dumbo-esque fun zone when I’m trying to sleep.

It’s when my most creative ideas flood my brain; when joke ideas come to me and I have to write them down lest they be lost in the joke abyss forever.

While my dad was in the hospital and I was home in Wisconsin, I’d lay awake at night just wondering what he was thinking or going through… if the machines beeping and the constant nurse pop-ins were keeping him from sleeping too.

Since he’s been gone, I go to sleep hoping to find him in a dream… but instead I get animals or trash cans.

What I've realized while lying awake at 3AM, analyzing the contents of my dream garbage, is that sleep is the one pillar of health I've always let slide. I'll eat well, I'll work out, drink my water, meditate, make ample time for joyous hangs with friends.

But sleep? Sleep was always negotiable.

Turns out, sleep might be the only thing that's actually non-negotiable. Especially now. Especially when you're trying to process loss and live fully and show up for people and build a meaningful existence with whatever time you have left. And be witty on top of it all.

I know there’s pills and things to help you sleep, but where’s the magic pill that keeps your dreams from being nightmares?

The Hustle

I used to wear sleep deprivation like a badge of honor.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead" is something I’ve heard busy people say my whole life.

Four hours? Fine. All-nighter before a show? No problem. Sleep has always been the thing I sacrificed when everything else needed doing.

But losing dad shifted something. Not because I'm suddenly afraid of dying — honestly, I'm less afraid of death now than I've ever been. I know where he went is beautiful. I know he's not suffering. Death doesn't scare me.

What scares me is any possibility of wasting the life I still have. And scorpions. Scorpions really freak me out. They play dead and hide in shoes. Horrifying.

You can't live fully on four hours of sleep. You can't be creative. Focused. You can't be your best you when your brain is running on fumes and hallucinatory trash can dreams.

Sleep isn't just rest. It's maintenance. It's when your brain processes the day, files away memories, clears out the emotional debris. It's when your body repairs itself from the stress of being human.

And that’s pretty damn stressful for us all. Existence…

"I'll sleep when I'm dead" has it backwards.

Sleep is for the living. Sleep is how you stay alive — not just breathing, but actually alive. Present. Sharp. Ready for whatever life throws at you next.

I really like living. Hopefully my sleep can mirror that.

A quick ‘interlude of gratitude’ here to thank you all.

My friends, my community, my network — I’ve felt an outpouring of love and support these past few weeks while losing my dad that has absolutely blown me away.

There are too many names to list, but you know who you are. And you’ve all made a really challenging time in my life really f-ing beautiful.

If you’re new to my newsletter, these last few posts will catch you up on everything I’ve been musing over since my dad got sick:

January 6: NPC’s, magic + a little dark humor

February 3: When heroes wear blankets

February 17: The waiting game

February 24: Hammers + Nails

March 3: A moment of silence

I enjoy taking my readers on a very personal, vulnerable look behind the curtain. I’m an ever-hustler who has found much more ease and flow in my life by chilling the F out more. We never fully strike a balance, but the balancing act of life is relatable, and a part of my sharing this is building my personal brand. With you. In an honest way.

As mentioned prior, my newsletter has begun getting ad partnerships. I only accept offers I love. 1440 Media is a team I know personally, and they’ve built a multi-million dollar a month newsletter empire. Tim, the co-founder, is a close friend and mentor. I love when I get the chance to include them in my newsletters.

Again, thank you for being here and growing along side me. In every way.

Smart starts here.

You don't have to read everything — just the right thing. 1440's daily newsletter distills the day's biggest stories from 100+ sources into one quick, 5-minute read. It's the fastest way to stay sharp, sound informed, and actually understand what's happening in the world. Join 4.5 million readers who start their day the smart way.

Join for free today!

The Chill

The nights are teaching me things I didn't expect to learn.

Like how grief and creativity live in the same part of your brain. How 3AM is when both your deepest fears and your best ideas show up uninvited. How the quiet hours after midnight are when you finally have space to feel everything you've been pushing through during the day.

I used to fight the sleepless nights. Get frustrated with my brain for not shutting off. Now I'm trying a different approach: listening.

Maybe my brain needs this time to process. Maybe the weird dreams are how I work through losing someone who was such a cellular part of my existence. Maybe this is just what healing looks like.

I'm also learning boundaries. There's a difference between processing and ruminating. Between feeling the grief and letting it consume you. Between honoring what happened and staying stuck in what can't be changed.

Yes, I'm prioritizing sleep now. Real sleep. The kind that actually restores instead of just existing in that weird liminal space between awake and unconscious.

When you watch someone you love die, you remember time is the only currency that actually matters. I don't want to spend mine half-awake, running on empty.

I want to be here for all of it. The good stuff and the hard stuff. Because the hard stuff makes the good stuff more noticeable.

None of us know how much we have left.

But whatever time I get, I want to be fully alive for it.

Sweet dreams, friends. Take care of yourselves. And maybe some melatonin.

Is your supplement stack actually working?

Most people have no idea what supplements they're taking. Download SuppCo to organize your routine, audit your nutrients, and see your StackScore. Then you'll know if your stack is helping or just expensive.

Check Your Score

Upcoming Shows

Back in Wisconsin tomorrow to help mom go through the house, and conveniently I’m headlining in Wisconsin. Life can sometimes time out just beautifully.

Thursday March 12th — headlining The Tasting Room Madison, Madison WI

Friday March 13th — headlining Madison Club, Madison WI — Comedy for a Cause which benefits veterans (my dad was a vet — mom is too — they met in the army)

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We sleep before we’re dead. Hopefully…

xx NPH