There was this guy named James I used to talk to every week at my gym in LA.

He was older, an art curator, bald (which apparently is a slur to call someone now?).

He would stop me on my way from weights to cardio and strike up these long chats. At first I’d be annoyed… like, OMG just let me work out.

But after a minute of chatting I’d remember why I took that twenty minutes out of my schedule to make time for him. He was so wise and insightful. I always enjoyed our chats. No idea what his last name was or can’t even remember where he curated art.

But I remember him. Never saw him anywhere else.

He was my LA fitness NPC.

On occasion I think about James and all the other NPC’s I’ve encountered.

Do these people actually exist? Or were they placed there to teach me something? What IS real?

2026 kicked off with my dad in the hospital. I won’t get into detail… but for those of you who reached out personally it seems your “thoughts and prayers” have done the good service they’re meant for.

Dad will be OK. As long as he listens to the doctors and completely changes his lifestyle. May need a few more prayers on that one… Midwest dads, amiright?

Sunday I went with one of the speaker coaches from TEDx to the Chicago Magic Lounge — an evening of illusion and sleight-of-hand trickery that had me rolling.

(By the way, not me just now learning it’s not “slide-of-hand”).

If it’s possible for humans to bend reality like that, what is actually real? Are we all just NPC’s??

The Hustle

When crisis comes knocking, your brain goes to the weirdest places.

New Year's Day. My mom calls. Dad's in the hospital. It's serious.

First thought: Is he okay? I’m glad he went in. What do the doctors say?

Second dark thought, immediately after: "Dad. Don't fuck up my vacation timing."

I know. I KNOW. That makes me sound like a monster. But I'm leaving Thursday for Belize with a big group of girls — my first non-working vacation since 2021. FOUR YEARS. And my brain just went into “I either have to know my dad’s OK or NOT go on vacation” mode…

The guilt hit instantly. What kind of daughter thinks about her vacation when her father's in crisis? But also... what kind of brain does that? Just casually drops the most inappropriate thought at the worst possible moment?

Turns out: a human one.

I laughed at the thought. Obviously I would drop anything in the world to be by my dad’s side. What can I say, I’m a daddy’s girl. (Fine, I’m also a mama’s girl and a grandma’s girl. I fucking love my family.)

We don't get to control the thoughts that pop up during stress. We just get to decide what we do with them. And whether we laugh about them later.

For me, that’s always a yes.

Dad's had a rough go, but I know he’s meant to be here to experience a LOT more of my life. He’s only 62.

In 2018 he had a heart attack, and it happened the second he walked in the door from his exterior housework business (where he’s on ladders all day), and mom and grandma were home and he got hauled off to safety within minutes. It didn’t happen while 28ft in the air, or while driving.

Impeccable timing.

He had another big health scare the day after my first comedy special was filmed in 2019. He played off how bad he was feeling so as to not interrupt my taping 🥹 If that isn’t the ultimate level of father-daughter love I don’t know what is.

This time I’m trusting in full healing. Life altering for the better. A complete 180. LFG dad!

And I'm still going to Belize. 

Not because I don't care. But because NUMBER ONE, dad’s back home and in good hands. Two, taking care of myself doesn't mean I love people less. It just means I'm learning that I can't pour from an empty cup — even when life is actively trying to knock the cup out of my hands.

And three, because I’m going to retire my dad this year and he just doesn’t know it yet.

(Shhhh)

The Chill

So. Belize…

I don't actually remember what a vacation feels like. Like, a real one. Where you're not also performing or meet-and-greeting or changing locations quickly or checking emails between beach visits.

Just... being. Existing. Reading a book on the beach without feeling guilty about not being productive.

Because “just being” is, in fact, highly productive.

I'm bringing a notebook. Obviously. Because my brain doesn't turn off just because I'm on an island.

In fact when I have no pending tasks and I’m in good company and simply happy existing, my brain literally EXPLODES with creativity and material.

But I'm leaving the laptop.

Well, that’s a lie. I actually might bring it ONLY to pull it out Tuesday morning to have coffee on the beach and write this newsletter. Because this time with my brain and thoughts is the highlight of my week and it doesn’t feel like work. Neither does performing. I love what I do. Am I even working? What is real???

It is true that when you love what you do, it doesn’t feel like work. And even though this is my first non-working vacation in years, I performed in 9 countries in 2024 and loved it just the same.

But allowing myself to embrace the switch-off is healthy. We all need more of that.

The NPC's will still be there when I return. The magic will still be magic. And life will keep lifing whether I'm refreshing my inbox or not.

After all, the world doesn’t actually revolve around us. It just… lifes.

James from LA Fitness probably doesn't think about me at all. He's living his full life, curating art, having his own adventures. Or maybe he thinks about me all the time? Maybe he thinks I died and one day I’ll run into him in LA in a grocery store and I’ll be like “OMG you’re real!” and he’ll be like “OMG you’re alive!” and we’ll have a laugh and never see each other again.

Maybe that's what's real. Not the grinding or the proving or the constant motion. Just the moments. The people. The decision to actually be present for your own life. The decision to let moments breathe, to let people come and go, and to treat every day as if it actually is magic.

I mean, if none of this is real, we can at least choose to make it spectacular.

Upcoming Shows

After I return from Belize, it’s off to Alaska! I’ll be dogsledding and headlining under the Northern lights on:

January 22nd - get tickets or share 

There’s some internal fighting in my inbox on which city wins for my next special taping… a little heavier on Chicago over LA. Some other options in the mix too like NY, SF or Seattle… Feel free to weigh in.

Lots more to come. It’s a big 2026.

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We Belize a little getaway is good for the soul.

xx NPH