Privilege wasn’t something I had to think about growing up.

Maybe part of that was because I didn’t have to. It wasn’t shoved in my face like it is as an adult, growing up in Stoughton, Wisconsin. 

"Privilege" was being able to shop at Hollister with your friends on a Saturday and buy a cute new skirt. “Privilege” was when Fast and Furious came out, and some of the kids — whose parents actually had money — tricked out their new Honda Civics with spoilers and underbody lights. It was a sexy time for cheap cars. The dudes who drove them, unfortunately, not so much…

Or maybe I didn’t need to think about privilege because, in a lot of ways, it wasn’t about money. I had my own form of privilege.

I never went without. We always had a home or a place to stay, we always had a meal, all us kids in my town were able to walk around in groups without cell phones going house to house stealing beer from our parents garages and drinking it in the woods behind the high school and the worse that would happen is we got grounded or — heaven forbid — a drinking ticket. To which I had both. A few times…

I’m not sure how often I touched the word “privilege” until I moved to Los Angeles. Spoiled, entitled, stuck up or rich were often used interchangeably.

One of my earliest jobs in LA was cocktailing at The Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. That was both my first real exposure to major celebrities with a lot of wealth, and contrarily the people that wished they were those people but weren’t so they acted like they were wealthy and hung around celebrities pretending they were better than everyone else.

Guess which one sucked more — ding ding ding! The people that wanted what they didn’t have.

I actually have zero shitty stories about the real elite. The celebs I met (aside from Latoya Jackson LOL — she’s a special one) were mostly awesome people. It was always the wannabees that were the problem… like the guy who came in every afternoon pretending to be on his blue tooth, talking very loudly, dropping major celebrity’s names in fake deals while pacing through the cocktail lounge cigar patio:

“Uh yea yea yea I’ll get Clooney on the phone right away…” …and then his phone rings clueing everyone in that there — in fact — was no phone call happening.

But privilege isn’t any of this. It’s not money or fame. It’s a nuanced concept. Privilege can be something people often overlook in themselves, especially when it’s tied to factors they take for granted, like basic health, access to education, or even the ability to pursue passions without worrying about survival…

The Hustle

This week, Jake and I had the privilege of being able to help the less fortunate.

There’s a pastor who lives in our building, and he feeds the hungry every other Friday in downtown Chicago — lower Wacker. It seems every time he’d let us know of the next outing, we were either out of town or had shows. We often donated money to their organization because we felt bad we couldn’t attend.

Saturday was the big annual BBQ on the south side of the city, followed by packing up food to distribute to downtown communities. Finally, we could join — and we did.

I hadn’t volunteered in this type of capacity for years, and the last time was in Skid Row in Los Angeles… I honestly think that experience scared me off from it for awhile. It’s tough to witness the realities of our society’s failures first hand… hmm. What a privilege.

We don’t always notice our privileges until we see someone else struggling with things we don’t even have to think about.

What we often deem as 'simple things' — like access to a stable internet connection, time for self-care, or the freedom to pursue creative passions — are privileges we often take for granted, but recognizing them helps build empathy and gratitude. Which we need a lot of right now.

I think it’s powerful when people realize that their privilege doesn’t diminish the struggles of others, but can rather be a tool to support and elevate those who don’t have the same advantages. It’s about awareness, and with awareness comes the opportunity to be more intentional about how privilege is used — for good, or to share opportunities, support others, and create equality.

The Chill

Full transparency: Saturday afternoon, after we’d finished feeding the hungry, I met my friend and fellow comedian, Victoria, in the West Loop for drinks. We hung and talked for seven+ hours — we also took mushroom chocolates. And it was hot out. They hit quickly.

It’s funny how I became a fan of mushrooms at age thirty-three when I did them for the first time —

I was with a group of friends at an Airbnb in Big Bear, California. Mostly couples. One couple had their two kids sleeping upstairs in the loft. Dad was upstairs with them, mom was downstairs with us wanting to witness my first experience on mushrooms.

I’ll note, I’ve never taken enough to have a full-on trip… just enough to see the 'whirly twirlies,' as I call them.

Right at the peak of the first whirlies, her almost three-year-old son woke up and walked down the stairs — “Mom! I need some water!”

He startled us and I turned to look in his direction. I broke. Ever really looked at a toddler’s head?? I laughed for hours about how unexpectedly large toddlers heads are. “How is he walking?? How are kids holding their heads up!? No wonder they take so long to start walking…”

That was my first revelation on mushrooms…

But my SECOND revelation was open-mindedness. You see the world through a slightly tinted lens when you’re on mushrooms. You see people in a new way. You are really accepting and introspective — as long as you’re not full-on tripping, of course.

So as Vic and I sat in the West Loop, mushroom chocolates kickin’ in, I kept looking around and thinking, “Man, look at all of us just having a regular ass day. What a fucking privilege.”

You don’t need mushrooms to have these kinds of revelations. It just happened to be a nice button for me on a day where I witnessed and was reminded, first hand, how much we have to be grateful for.

The realization that recognizing our privilege doesn’t diminish that of others, but it helps us gain perspective and gratitude.

We have so many privileges — being able to read this because you have a phone or laptop, or because you can read at all — privilege. Waking up with an able body — privilege. Being able to go to a comedy show or see a free concert in the park… or to be able to work — even things we often complain about — privilege.

It’s a privilege to get up on Tuesday mornings, reflect on my week, and write this for you. It’s a privilege you read it.

I’m beyond grateful for my lot in life. I may not drive a Bentley (or even a tricked-out Honda Civic — thank God), but damn, I’ve got a great life. And I look forward to being able to extend more and more to others the more I get the privilege of having.

…and that includes spare mushroom chocolates, naturally…

Upcoming Shows

Headlining Funny Bone Kansas City July 31st

and Funny Bone Columbus Aug 17th!! — tix at www.nphcomedy.com/live

This weekend I’ll be away in Cleveland, Ohio officiating the wedding of two of my favorite humans… this will be the third wedding I’ve officiated, and yes, I’m a “minister” who swears.

Next week I’ll sprinkle out some drop in’s at Laugh Factory and Comedy Bar —

Thursday July 24th I’ll be throwing up a lot of new stuff at The Chicago Comedy Club at House of Blues in preparation for KC!

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We be blessed.

xx NPH