Every time I meet a 20something or 30something now, I feel like they’re complaining about getting older.

Take your pity party elsewhere… insert tiny violin I bought in the Wisconsin Dells to whip out for exactly these moments.

If you’re mad about aging, chances are you don’t like where you’re at in life, you don’t like yourself, you’re not taking care of your body, or you ain’t gettin any action.

Aging is a gift. I feel like I blinked and suddenly I’m 41, but if I were to slow time down and review the past 41 years, it all adds up.

Save for those few pandemic years that I feel like we all just get to shave off. We didn’t age nor exist during that time. It’s why we all conveniently forgot about it… Never happened.

I truly don’t feel a day over 28. Physically. But since I was a young kid I felt like an old soul. So mentally I’m probably about 78.

…carry the two… so 41 checks out.

Speaking of more things that check out — I’ve always called myself an “outside dog.” I am living my best life in warmth. The second the weather is above 70 degrees I must be outside immediately. Or it hurts. And I pant and whimper to be let loose in a park.

This weekend kicked off festival season in Chicagoland, and I went to MayFest to drink overpriced beer, and watch a band of women in their 70s with box-dyed red hair slay guitar and vocals to 60s rock.

I guess I’m not the only one who feels like I’m not aging.

The Hustle

I swear millennials are aging differently than any generation before us.

When my parents were 41, they had a mortgage, a minivan (that I was driving, because when they were 41 I was 19), and they had lived their entire notable adult lives as parents.

Now, we’re starting families older, focusing on career and independence through our mid-years, and still wearing crop tops to festivals.

Hey, if Samantha could do it in Sex and The City, so can we.

Millennials are just a different breed. We might all be outside dogs.

Maybe it's because we were told we'd never afford houses anyway, so we never developed that "settling down" energy. Maybe it's because we grew up with the internet and stayed curious instead of getting stuck behind a screen.

Or maybe it's because we've been through so much chaos — 9/11, financial crashes, pandemics — that we learned to find joy wherever we can get it.

I often thank comedy for being my real fountain of youth. When you spend your life making people laugh, you never really grow up. You’re always around people spanning all generations. And you don’t give a shit how old anyone is as long as they’re a cool person and pass the vibe check.

Comedy forces you to stay flexible, to see things from different angles, to find lightness in heavy situations. You can't be rigid and funny at the same time. You can't take yourself too seriously and still kill on stage.

Plus, hanging around other comedians means I'm constantly surrounded by people who think fart jokes are still hilarious and who debate in green rooms whether cereal is soup.

I think it depends on the cereal.

The traditional midlife crisis involves buying a sports car and dating someone half your age.

Well I am dating someone 8 years younger but we are both Millennials, so it doesn’t count. *wink*

The millennial version of a midlife crisis involves going to street festivals, posting thirst traps on Instagram, and still saying yes to any and all travel like we did at 22 except now we can actually afford it.

We're not having midlife crises because we're too busy still figuring out what regular life even looks like.

Do we ever figure it out? IS there a “regular life?”

The Chill

Maybe the secret to not having a midlife crisis is accepting that there's no such thing as having it all figured out.

Hell we don’t even know when the middle of our life is supposed to be anymore with where things are going.

I used to think that by my 40’s I'd wake up one day and suddenly feel like a "real adult" who knows exactly where she's supposed to live, what she's supposed to want, and how she's supposed to act or dress or speak or behave.

Instead, I'm out here debating whether I should move back to Southern California every time the Chicago weather drops below 60 degrees. I'm wearing outfits that would've been appropriate in college and feeling genuinely surprised when someone calls me "ma'am" at Target.

I think none of it fuckin matters.

The pressure to have everything figured out by a certain age is just another construct we've been sold.

Who decided that 40-something meant settling down and accepting that your fun years are behind you? Who said you have to stop going to festivals or questioning where you want to live or wearing whatever makes you feel good?

Maybe wisdom isn't about having all the answers. Maybe it's about being comfortable with the questions. And simply not caring what the answers are, or realizing the answers change hour to hour.

I'm 41. I LOVE what I do for a living. I love who I am as a person. I love the people in my life. I love adventure and laughing at dumb jokes, and performing keeps my soul alive.

Deciding to be happy about the gift of aging I think is what makes you age slower?

The outdoor dog energy isn't going anywhere. Neither is the crop top collection. IDGAF.

And if that's not aging gracefully, then then I will joyfully age disgracefully.

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Upcoming Shows

Couple fun ones this week!

Thursday March 21st — iO Chicago — this is a super fun lineup with a musical guest, and a battling hypnotist and mentalist, and me!

Saturday March 23rd — 7 + 9 pm at Laugh Factory Chicago. Use the code LAUGH or LAUGHS (I forget which one) to comp your tix at checkout!

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We are forever young. At heart.

xx NPH