Sponsored by

If you know anything about me, I love a good surprise. Bad surprises are another story…

This past Sunday I showed up to Wisconsin to surprise Mom for Mother’s Day. Mom came home from church expecting just the grandmas, and I was hiding in the house.

I'd been in Wisconsin just a few days earlier for a show, so we’d just seen each other. Which made the surprise even better — she had zero expectation I'd come back.

I’ve been pulling off surprises of all levels since I was a kid. Maybe it’s growing up watching America’s Funniest Home Videos and always loving that moment when someone is jump-scared. Maybe I just like proving to the people I love that I’ll show up when they least expect it. Or maybe I’ve shit my own pants enough as an adult that I’m secretly trying to spread the love.

Regardless, it was a fun day — me, Mom and the Grandmas wild’n out at Applebees in Janesville, Wisconsin.

And by ‘wild’ I mean I had one beer and we split mozzarella sticks.

Party on Wayne.

That afternoon got me thinking about showing up. Not just for surprise visits and fried cheese (although it IS blasphemous to step on Wisconsin soil and not consume cheese), but in all the ways that actually matter.

This week I've been confirming summer tour dates that got shifted around because of dad's hospitalization and everything that followed. Rerouting cities, coordinating with bookers, making sure I can still hit all the cities I hoped to hit before filming in the fall.

It's logistical hell, but it's also showing up for the people who've been waiting to see me perform. And showing up for myself as an artist.

I'm filming my second full hour special this fall. I’m beyond excited. I have a LOT to do.

But the hardest showing up I'm doing right now? Writing dad's eulogy for his memorial at the end of this month.

Writing comedy is a cakewalk compared to trying to capture someone special’s entire life in a few spoken paragraphs. How do you summarize 63 years of a man who built everything with his hands, whose mannerisms are so specific they’re impossible to emulate, who was a “man of few words” but you were one of the people who cared enough to listen to them all?

It's the hardest piece I've ever written. Maybe the most important as of yet.

But if I could do it for my best friend in my TED talk, I feel there’s something important in these words about Dad that need to land in my new hour…

Sometimes showing up looks like surprise visits and chain restaurant beer. Sometimes it looks like rescheduling your entire career plans around loss. And sometimes it looks like sitting down to write words you never wanted to have to write, but are honored to.

The Hustle

Showing up isn’t about some grandiose surprise all the time, nor is it even about being perfect. It's about being present.

When I started rebooking these summer tour dates, I could have been frustrated that my original plans got derailed. That venues I wanted weren't available anymore. That the timeline I'd mapped out months ago was completely shot.

In all honesty, there’s not even a sold out arena tour that would’ve stopped me or Mom from canceling everything to be with Dad in the hospital.

Instead, I'm choosing to see it as an opportunity to end up exactly when and where I’m supposed to be. To be more intentional about which cities I hit and when. To make sure that when I do get on those stages, I'm bringing my absolute best because I know how important my energy is in carrying that room.

The special filming this fall isn't just a career goal anymore — it's a deadline with meaning behind it. Dad won't be there to see it (oh my GOD how he wouldn’t have missed it for the world), but everything I learned from him about work ethic, about showing up even when it's hard, about unconditional love — that's all going into this hour.

Writing Dad’s eulogy is teaching me something about my own voice that I never expected. Taking all the skills I use to make people laugh and redirecting them toward making people remember, making them feel, making them understand who he really was.

Comedy and eulogy writing aren't that different, unfortunately. Both require you to find the truth in the story. To make people laugh at uncomfortable things. Both ask you to connect with people in a room and give them relief from life’s hard shit. Both demand that you show up authentically, even when it's not easy.

A eulogy is one shot to honor someone’s entire existence. I shot my last special years ago in one take, and Dad powered through it so sick he ended up in the hospital the next day on Father’s Day.

If that ain’t unConditional love…

So I'm showing up. For the tour dates, for the special, for the hardest piece I'll ever write (yet).

I know it’ll all fall into place.

A Website That Works While You Sleep

Most AI builders hand you a good-looking site and call it a day.

Readdy.ai builds you a business. Your site collects leads, takes payments, and answers customer questions 24/7 — through a built-in AI agent that handles inquiries while you're busy running your business.

Design, hosting, SEO, payment, and a tireless AI employee. All in one. $15/month.

Try for Free.

The Chill

Writing about my dad makes me realize how much someone lives on in the smallest of details.

I keep starting and stopping, trying to find the right words to capture him. But every time I sit down to write, I find myself remembering things that have nothing to do with his accomplishments or his big life moments.

The way he fought laughter that made him double over once it started escaping. All his little nuanced jokes while playing cards or board games. The little things he’d say when hugging me that only I got to experience.

They're just… Dad moments. Specific to him. To us. They're the ones that make me miss him most. And they’re the ones I’m trying to convey when I talk about him.

Writing comedy taught me that the truth has always been funnier than fiction in how I personally share a story.

This is no different.

I'm not trying to make people cry or deliver some profound message about life and death. I'm just trying to help everyone in that room remember why they loved him too. To share the version of Dad that I got to see up close — the one who sang off-key under his breath, who worked hard without complaining, who loved us so unconditionally that it never occurred to us to doubt it.

Maybe that's what showing up really means. Not grand gestures or big surprises, but rather all the little things. The sauce.

The hardest piece I've ever written is turning out to be the most honest one too.

I think that's exactly how dad would want it.

Protection for Birds, a Gift for You

The National Audubon Society protects birds and the places they need, thanks to generous supporters.

Start an annual gift today to help create a brighter future for the birds you love. As our thanks, we’ll send you our quarterly, award-winning magazine.

Donate Now

Upcoming Shows

Thursday March 21st — iO Theater with Chris Jones

Saturday March 23rd — Laugh Factory Chicago 7 + 9 pm — message for comp code

I have many friends + supporters inquiring about coming to Dad’s Celebration of Life memorial. If you’d like to… it’s on Sunday May 31st in Stoughton, Wisconsin — where both dad and I were raised. Location: Nordic Ridge Park 1300 Hoel Ave (outdoor pavilion). 10 - 2:30+ but the speaking portion should be around noon. All welcome. All the love.

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We know a good story is an honor.

xx NPH