I wish more people admitted they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing. Like some of the people running this country… I digress.

Don’t get me wrong — lots of smart people out there, but I swear every time I pop onto social media some guru bullshitter or “influencer” is telling everyone how to do something or selling a course for a path that happened to work for them but might not work for someone else.

It’s enough inundation to feel like you’re never quite figuring it out…

Hell, I honestly didn’t know what I was doing with this newsletter. Or my first comedy special. Or starting my first company. Or the first chunk of tours to St. Croix. Or my first or second or third tour in Europe. Or with my first or second or seventh management/agent team. Are we seeing the pattern?

All I know is I’m an artist, I’m a hustler, I have a shit ton of drive and stamina, and when I make a decision to do something I just start doing, and either find someone who’s knowledgeable enough to help or simply figure it the fuck out.

… and then you just keep figuring it out, and figuring it out, and surrounding yourself with more people doing the same and you eventually get there… wherever “there” is. Right?

Why does everyone feel like they have to have all the answers?

I’m not a good liar. I think that’s what makes it easy to talk about my life and personal tribulations on stage.

Suddenly, I’m recalling a moment in high school. It was my sophomore year, I was a straight A student, a respectful goofball in class, and I was in most of my AP classes with juniors and seniors.

Our anatomy class was a fun one (obviously… put a bunch of horny teens in a room where you ever have to talk about the “groin” and it’s game over).

One day we had a pop quiz that came in the form of a game — the class was split into two teams and the group could come up with the answer collectively.

The class was presented with a really tough question and both teams were struggling. Then, I remembered I had studied this very complex term and written it on the inside of my folder in pencil when doodling. My folder was on my desk. I sly-ly peaked inside, then blurted out the answer. Boom. Nailed it.

Everyone was stunned and I was the hero. …until we moved onto the next question and in the middle of group deliberations, I couldn’t take it anymore and abruptly yelled “I CHEATED!”

Silence sliced through the room. Then everyone including the teacher just started cracking up. It was like this huge release of tension that just broke everyone in a needed way.

I buried my head in my hands momentarily, then stood up, revealing to everyone that I’d remembered writing down the term and found it written on my folder. Nobody was even mad, because I was honest. Also, for the rest of that week whenever I’d walk by one of these juniors or seniors in the hallway, they’d yell “I CHEATED” at me and laugh about it. It was like a class meme before there were memes… a preme?

I think what I’m getting at is, it’s refreshing to not know. There’s something nice about just being a little dumber than we let on, but skilled enough to know how to find the answer —

The Hustle

We are all just figuring it out in real time — no one has the perfect formula for virility, business growth, or "the algorithm" — we’re all testing, tweaking, and restarting constantly.

I have no idea why, but I was always the person in LA a lot of comedians came to either to vent and be completely honest about things, or look for answers from. Maybe because I was always available to listen without judgement? Or maybe because often I’d be like, “I know a guy…” and make a good connection.

Either way, there were SO many times influencers, comics or actors that I thought were “blowing up on social media” and had their “blue checkmarks” would run into me during errands and tell me how bullshit their life was on socials and that they were broke. I was like, “I bet if you tell people you’re looking for work you’ll get it?”

Imagine that!

This happened so often that one of my writing partners and I wrote an entire TV series called “Social Mediators” where we played idiot life coaches that saw a market opportunity to scam on scammy influencers who needed real life guidance. It’s a really funny series… we had LOIs (letters of intent) from Tiffany Haddish and Theo Von to play a few characters, but it never sold despite being shopped by a major production company.

Maybe time for a recast and a reprise? 🤪 

People love a peak behind the curtain at the messy and unpolished, and this series was a space to safely put all those stories we’d heard over the years, embellished, of course.

That’s why standup is one of the coolest art forms… exposing yourself is not only excellent material but sets you completely free. Nothing to hide…

The Chill

There’s a sense of freedom in the unknown.

I’m leaning into that so much more in my career these days — Yes, I have goals. Yes, I work towards them. But I also love those random opportunities that may pop up along the way, and boy do they.

I keep getting offered board and advisor seats at cool companies. WTF — why? 😂

I do own a few companies, but are any of them grossing $50m a year? Hell no, not even close. But every time I’m asked to come in to speak somewhere on my career in comedy, or my company, or being a creator, or my business ventures, I lean into being a comedian first and I don’t pretend to be some mega business guru that I’m not. And I think that’s refreshing for people?

A few weeks ago I sat in on an advisor panel in Chicago — comprised of all top attorneys, bankers, CEOs of Fortune 500s — and as we did intros around the table and I said “I’m a standup comedian” I swear it was like letting air out of a balloon.

I used to feel out of place in situations like these, but now I realize people are fascinated by artists, especially comedians.

There truly is no such thing as imposter syndrome when you are only showing up as yourself.

I think people really do get that you have to be smart and honest, and a little insane and dumb at the same time to be successful in such a challenging career.

Over the years, I’ve begun to let go of the pressure to be “on track” — it’s a total myth.

Most of my heroes were winging it too — they just didn’t stop taking new risks, even after something worked.

Pro or amateur, it really is relieving to be reminded that if you are just YOU, and you’re real with people, you’ll figure it the fuck out too.

Upcoming Shows

I’m happy to say me and Jake’s first Certified Bangers was a true banger!! The next one in Chicago will be June 28th, so save the date :)

Here are the current cities cooking 🔥 for tour — Buffalo, Portland, Austin, New York, San Diego, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Charleston, Detroit, Boston, DC, San Francisco, Raleigh, Albuquerque, Nashville, Dallas and Arlington. And according to my online submission forms, there’s also heavy requests for Tampa, Las Vegas, Denver, Richmond, Minneapolis, OshKosh, Orlando, Atlanta, Seattle, Vancouver, Jacksonville, Savanah, and Miami, so I’m working on those cities too.

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW AND SPREAD THE LOVE:

Kansas City Funny Bone July 31st

Columbus OH Funny Bone August 17th

Shows in Chicagoland this week will be posted to my Instagram/Facebook stories day of, and there’s a lot of them, so this is my push to get you visually engaged 😇

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. Let’s be dumbasses together.

xx NPH