It’s easy to get caught up in feeling wronged.

Trust me, I’ve been there. It hits you out of nowhere — someone else gets that big gig, that promotion you were eyeing, cuts you off in traffic, or leaves a shitty comment on your post. Suddenly, you feel overlooked, unseen, misunderstood. Or sometimes you innately want to respond in a rage that’s completely uncharacteristic — the movie KickAss comes to mind.

Recently, with the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal wrapping up, I saw a lot of comedians airing their grievances online. That’s just one example — but this constant bitterness and resentment is not only ugly (sorry, not sorry), it’s also the kind of mindset that keeps you stuck and blocks you from getting the shit you want.

There’s nothing that’s impossible to have if someone else has it.

Is it true that people suck sometimes? — Uhh, yea…

Is it true that people will judge you based on one mediocre show from years ago? — I STILL have industry people who remember me from “that one festival in 2013” and act like I’m still doing the same material…

Will people come across a post or reel and decide you’re “that person” without really understanding who you are? — Oh yeah, social media is notoriously the breeding ground for projection.

It’s easy to slip into that mindset — “Why didn’t I get that?” “I deserve that more” “How could they think that about me?” “Why meeee?” “Why NOT meeee?”

Disrespect in all its forms feels like a punch to the gut. But the reality is:

Someone else’s win does not mean your success is any less possible.

It actually means the opposite.

I love telling myself the line: They don’t know what the fuck they’re lookin at.

It’s not your job to convince others of your value. Your only job is to know it for yourself.

The Hustle

We’re all going to feel wronged at some point. That’s just life.

Whether it’s in our careers, personal relationships, or even just in everyday interactions, there will always be moments where we feel passed over or treated unfairly. But it’s what you do with that feeling that matters.

Comedy’s been a huge saving grace for me — we get to laugh about the stuff that annoys us or hurts, and find a way to flip it. It’s a power move, really. One that’s accessible to everyone — laughing about the bad.

Instead of sitting there, stewing in bitterness, complaining about everything not going your way, you have two choices: complain or create.

When someone else gets the thing or doesn’t recognize what you bring to the table, the answer isn’t to whine or act sour. (At least not publicly, ha! But for real.) — It’s to create your own path: Get to work. Start something new. Write. Innovate in your own way.

The entertainment business has a dark side — and I’ve seen some things so bad I haven’t shared them publicly... maybe one day I will. We’ve all had our setbacks, but I’ve learned the hard way that my success is on me. …And not on a casting director who asks for pictures of my boobs to get the part — true story / mild teaser.

No one is going to hand it to me. Complaining won’t get me any closer to my goals. Action will. Every time I’ve faced rejection, I’ve used it as fuel to work even harder or try something different. And it’s paid off. Every. Single. Time.

So the next time you feel wronged, instead of letting that frustration sit with you, take it as a sign that it’s time to level up.

Tell yourself a different story, create a new opportunity, and do your best to surround yourself with people that DO know what the fuck they’re lookin’ at.

The Chill

I’m not saying you need to act like nothing’s bothering you. You don’t have to be a robot. Frustration’s a clutch tool, and I find venting to be hilarious, honestly. (Venting done right is chefs kiss — over drinks with friends or in a solid comedic rant. Venting with ‘gusto’).

It’s fine to feel angry, slighted, hurt, or upset — we all do. It’s human. What I’m talking about is shifting the energy. Turning that frustration into fuel for something bigger.

It’s easy to get stuck in the "woe is me" cycle, but you can’t control other people. Feeling wronged doesn’t help anyone, especially not you. Breathe, feel the frustration, vent with the right people, and then move on.

The key is knowing that everything you want is still on the table.

Someone else getting what you wanted doesn’t mean your turn isn’t coming. It just means it’s time to get clear on what you want and go after it, unapologetically.

I’ve mentioned the power of being underestimated in one of my earlier newsletters. Even greater than that power is knowing you’re going to be fine no matter what someone else thinks of you.

If you’re feeling wronged right now — passed over or overlooked — take a minute. It’s fine to feel that way. But don’t let it define you. Don’t let it keep you stuck. There’s no such thing as fair, only preparation and the right timing.

Instead, let it push you to create. Use it as a launchpad to go after your goals. The world’s full of endless possibilities, and someone else’s win doesn’t take away from yours. (If you’ve never read the book Big Magic, I highly suggest.)

Celebrate all wins, not just the ones from people you like. Compete with your past self. And for the love of God, if you see someone complaining on Facebook and you care about them, tell them to stop.

Upcoming Shows

Keep tabs on my website for now, and big drops coming soon — TedX is being announced on socials Thurs 7/31, so keep on eye out and feel free to share once it is 🤪

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We take it in stride.

xx NPH