I know what I’m capable of. That’s a good thing.

I've been trusted to host star-studded galas without anyone asking to pre-screen my material. I've spoken in rooms and performed on stages where I once never felt like I belonged. There comes a time when that former doubt has to take a back seat.

It’s OK to let people trust you.

You belong wherever you are. 

This past week was Madison Comedy Week — an event my other half Jake works his ass off on most of the year, simply to create space for performers and experiences in a genuinely cool city. (I may be biased, but Wisconsin was a pretty incredible place to grow up... also, beer.)

The vibes at Madison Comedy Week are always electric. Shows are killer, comedians are grateful to work a festival where they're actually taken care of and get paid (believe it or not, many festivals don't pay performers a dime... yay comedy!), and the post-show hangs are legendary.

I hadn't touched a stage for a week before my MCW shows. I'd been laser-focused on writing for TEDx and honestly felt like garbage about rolling into the festival “rusty.”

LOL we also forget rust takes a very long time and a lot of inclement weather to actually set in… we be so hard on ourselves.

But here's the thing about stepping away from something you love for a moment: the distance reminds you exactly why you love it and how good you are at it. It makes it fun again. And you get to perform like you're emerging from nowhere, mysteriously very good at what you do.

It’s actually wildly empowering. Probably how most men feel after a week of celibacy.

And I can honestly say I absolutely destroyed at the fest.

Let's call it a renewal of confidence...

The Hustle

But here's where things get tricky.

That high from absolutely crushing it? It's intoxicating. And like most intoxicating things, it can make you stupid.

There's a razor-thin line between confidence and delusion, and success has a nasty habit of shoving you right over it.

Confidence says: "I crushed that set because I trusted my material and read the room." Delusion says: "I crushed that set because I'm obviously the funniest person alive and everyone else just doesn't get comedy."

Confidence says: “I’m going to crush this room in a way that everyone following me crushes too.” Delusion says: “It’s all about me.”

Confidence says: "I'm constantly getting better at this and should keep pushing myself." Delusion says: "I'm already the best and shouldn't have to change anything."

Confidence is Jennifer Aniston. Delusion is Diddy.

Confidence includes reality in its calculations. Delusion edits reality out entirely.

I've watched comedians (and entrepreneurs, and creators, and basically every human with ambition) ride one good night into months of terrible decisions. They stop taking notes. They dismiss feedback as jealousy. They start believing their own press before they've even written any.

I love feeling confident. I love the knowingness that I always pull shit off and I always keep improving. I think it’s great to remind ourselves what we’re capable of.

But I can also recall a very specific moment where I started veering into delusion pretty hard…

When I was about five years into standup, I was already a great performer. And I did crush more often than not. But my overall skill set was limited. And I wasn’t aware of this.

I pushed to get into rooms I wasn’t ready for. I was seen by major industry powerhouses when I was still too green. And I had one of the biggest (and only truly notable and horrifying to this day) bombs of my life — featuring for someone for 35 minutes when I only had 20 written…

_{Ok fine I’ll tell you the story. It was 2015, I was working as a feature on the Funny Business circuit (if you know, you know), and had gotten an opportunity to open for a comedian who I still love to this day in the crusty town of Decatur, IL.}

_{Decatur smells like shit. I’m not kidding — there’s a soy plant there and I don’t know WHAT they do making soy, but the air is a pungent level of foulness I have never smelled again. Cue the Morgan Freeman quote from Shawshank Redemption where Andy is about to crawl through the sewers…}

_{I got on stage at an old airplane hangar turned comedy club. Only very old people in the audience. I tried to stretch my twenty minutes of material into thirty-five. My material was way too edgy for them. I had no other material to pivot into. I got zero laughs.}

_{BOMBING FOR 35 MINUTES IS THE MOST GOD AWFUL THING YOU’LL EVER EXPERIENCE AND DEATH ISN’T EVEN SCARY AFTER THAT. In fact, for some time to follow, you almost welcome it.}

I had to renounce my delusion pretty quickly after that experience. But here's what's wild — that bomb taught me more about performing than any success ever had.

Sometimes the best thing that can happen to your confidence is having it completely shattered. Because when you rebuild it, you get to do it right this time...

The Chill

Real confidence isn't loud. It's quiet.

It doesn't need to announce itself or prove anything to anyone. It just shows up and does the work. Surprises people. In a good way.

After Decatur, I had to learn the difference between confidence and bravado. Bravado is performance anxiety in a fancy outfit. Confidence is just... calm.

Here's what healthy confidence actually looks like:

• You prepare like you might fail, but perform like you won't

• You take compliments without needing them and criticism without deflecting them

• You know your strengths AND your blind spots

• You're genuinely curious about getting better instead of defensive about being questioned

The confidence paradox: The more secure you become in your abilities, the more comfortable you get with not knowing everything.

I started seeking out rooms that scared me again — but this time with 45 minutes of solid material. I started asking for feedback instead of fishing for compliments. I stopped comparing my behind-the-scenes panic to other people's Instagram highlights.

Once I stopped needing to prove I belonged everywhere, I actually started belonging more places.

True confidence has this magical quality: it makes everyone around you more comfortable. Delusion makes everyone else feel like they're walking on eggshells tip-toeing around your ego.

So how do you stay on the right side of the line?

• Keep people around you who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear

• Celebrate your wins for exactly 24 hours, then get back to work

• Remember that your last great performance doesn't guarantee your next one

• Trust your process more than your feelings

Last week — in my TEDx meeting and at Madison Comedy Week — reminded me that confidence isn't about never doubting yourself. It's about trusting yourself enough to doubt everything else — your assumptions, your material, your approach — and still show up ready to figure it out.

The real flex isn't being right all the time. It's being wrong gracefully and learning fast.

Upcoming Shows

Here are the current cities cooking for tour — Columbus, Buffalo, Portland, Austin, New York, San Diego, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Charleston, Detroit, Boston, DC, San Francisco, Raleigh, Upstate New York, Nashville, Dallas and Arlington. You can submit on the waitlist for any specific cities on my website, or obviously, just stay here in my newsletter. Anchorage, Alaska will be the start of my 2026 tour leg and that date is dropping soon as well (will be back half of January — great timing for Alaska…)

I’m also going to be pushing my YouTube channel soon and will need your help. I currently have both my Gala set (can’t be shared publicly they have it copywritten… ugh) and my MCW set up, but unlisted. If you want to watch them, shoot me a reply and I’ll send the unlisted link. 🙃 

August 17th — Colombus, Ohio — get after it! Only a few days left and they are flying!

September 26th — TedX Chicago

Stay tuned in my IG stories for my drop-ins in Chicago this month. I’ll be spending the month of October in Los Angeles… so those shows are dropping soon here!

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We are forever team Aniston.

xx NPH