The world is particularly weird right now.

On one hand, there is endless opportunity for success and exposure — one viral clip can change the course of your career forever (for better or worse, eek!) — and where people looking for fame and fortune once had to strive for seemingly unattainable celebrity status it can now be snatched through virility and a pop in follower count.

On the other hand, literally everyone and their mom — and grandmothers and pets — are “influencers” now. Everything is branded. Everything is monetized. Even billionaires and CEOs have a personal brand and media storms of content being pushed out through every channel possible until your all your orifices are bleeding.

Like, isn’t it good enough to be a billionaire? Ya gotta be famous for it too?? Barf.

I’m not only thankful for being a millennial, where I was able to witness, alongside my peers, the creation and acceleration of the internet as we know it, but I was also able to begin my comedy career in a time where sheer grit, talent and IRL connections were the only things that could get you headlining clubs — not a sixty-second video.

I’m appreciative for the ability to have access and to be accessible, and that anything is possible in this digital age, but a part of me marinates in nostalgia for a time when art wasn’t created to be digested in eight seconds before swiping onto the next hit of dopamine, and a following didn’t exist…

I mean if everyone is an influencer, who is actually influential?

The year was 2010. May to be exact — yes I just celebrated my 15 year standup anniversary HOLY SHIT WHAT. There was no Instagram, unfortunately, only twitter… which I had actually spelled my own name wrong on and thus had no “followers” yet 😂

I was performing a small spot at Zanies Chicago for the first time, and the owner of the club, Bert Haas, had all of us comedians up in the green room giving us a one hour spiel on the business of comedy pre-show.

Yes, I had my notebook and yes I took ample notes while slamming a Jack and Coke to quell my nerves.

I remember he told us an anecdote about Jay Leno, and that Leno would stay after any show he was on, wait by the door, and shake hands with every single audience member as they exited until the room was completely empty.

I’ll never forget Bert explaining that comedy is connective. Whether there are nine people in the audience or nine hundred, they all matter, and so does your choice to treat every audience member like gold.

Leno didn’t have an Instagram. He didn’t post after shows asking fans to 'engage with his content.' He just stayed. In the room. Until the last person left.

That, my friends, is a memorable experience. Compare to today's “like + comment + share” influencer culture — where many creators have followers, but not necessarily a community…

The Hustle

Comedy is about building rapport. If people laugh with you, they trust you to at least a degree. If they trust you, they follow your work — not because of an algorithm, but because of resonance.

Yes, the exposure to new audiences is a fantastic way to build trust over time, but with attention spans being so short these days and everyone creating content, retaining that trust and engagement is an exhaustive effort.

On the flip, I often see content creators in comedy amassing a following quickly online, only to not be able to carry an audience for a sixty-minute show when the opportunity arises.

So where the fuck does that leave us…? As with anything, you have to “conform to the times” or “stay ahead of the curve” lest you be left to rot in oblivion.

Here’s my take: “followers” aren’t always fans. Fans aren’t always community.

Community shows up. A community has respect for its members.

The concept of “community” has changed significantly with social media. Historically, community was understood as a place-based group with shared interests, values, and physical proximity which fostered strong connections and face-to-face relationships. While social media facilitates connections, it has shifted the definition to virtual communities — ones based in online interactions and shared digital spaces.

Community has technically become more accessible than ever, but so has everyone. This can make it harder to know where and if you actually belong or even have real support or supporters.

It’s important to remember that social media is rented land. If it falls apart — poof — there goes your “community.” This is why I’m absolutely seeing a shift, and also writing this newsletter, to build a different level of bond with people: owned audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually love creating content, and I’ve been doing so since I was in grade school. However a huge component in the art of standup is being present — specifically on stage — and I refuse to let the need for constant and consistent output take me away from living the real and present life that actually informs and creates my comedy, or lets me build actual connection.

The Chill

Connection is the real currency. It’s something you can’t buy. It’s deeper than something monetized. Connection is impactful, and with real impact, wealth and opportunity organically follows.

Where influence once was thought of as “status,” I find that the real influence comes in the form of service and story.

When you let go of chasing followers and focus on staying in touch (peep my newsletter “The Art of Staying in Touch from April 22”) everything changes.

Comedians are inherently community builders. We pull from real life, offer relatability and moments of meaning, and we get to connect with strangers while allowing them to take reprieve from the mess of their own life or the world.

I remember in 2020 when my engagement was ending, I was building My Break-Up Registry, and I had shown my canceled wedding turned comedy special BTS online while being vulnerable about everything I was going through — I received so many DMs. Some people praised the lemons-to-lemonade attitude. Some asked for advice. Some just straight dumped their traumas…

I felt like people were really along for the ride. It did make me feel less alone, but only for fleeting moments if I’m being honest.

But I gotta say, nothing’s ever quite as precious as when I finish a show and someone comes up to me in person and shares how relatable something I talked bout was, and specifically giving them the ability to laugh about it in hindsight.

This is an audience — they’re real people — showing you in real time that something impacted them.

Influence doesn’t mean shouting louder or being more viral, but rather resonating deeper.

The most powerful people I know don’t try to be influential — they just show up, tell the truth (or in the world of comedy, be brutally honest), and build trust by just being fucking real.

Connection Economy

While the creator economy isn’t going anywhere, and is expected to reach $1.4 trillion by 2034 (up from $143 billion in 2024), I’m coining this moment as the new wave of the connection economy.

In my honest opinion, people are starved now more than ever for connection — whether creator or consumer — and the people and businesses and brands and corporations that truly understand that will be ahead of the oversaturated “influencer” curve.

When the time comes, I can’t wait to share with you all what we’ve been working on over at My Break-Up Registry (the “MBR” to my “NPH” — loves a good triple initial).

In everything I touch, the ultimate goal is driving community and connection. If you think anyone could benefit from belonging here, send them my (our) way.

Upcoming Shows

Here are the current cities cooking 🔥 for tour — Columbus, Kansas City, Buffalo, Portland, Austin, New York, San Diego, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Charleston, Detroit, Boston, DC, San Francisco, Raleigh, Albuquerque (omg try spelling that without help), Nashville, Dallas and Arlington. You will be the first in the know when all begins to drop!

Any city you’re feelin? Anywhere I should add?

In the meantime, shows you should catch this week in Chicagoland (also, I don’t share every show here, only the ones I feel you should check out — you can always check my Instagram for day-of drops!):

Thursday 5/15 - Laugh Factory Chicago 9pm

Thursday 5/22 - Group Chat at Zanies Rosemont featuring Me and my KILLER pals Kristen Toomey, Maggie Hughes DePalo, Kellye Howard, Chelsea Hood and Eunji Kim

Sunday 5/25 - Lincoln Lodge 8pm

Weds 5/28 - CYSK Chicago (Comedians You Should Know)

HOT DROP — our girl Chelsea Hood tapes her comedy special TOMORROW May 14th and me and the homies will be at the late show — come support her and hang with me!

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We earn our influence.

xx NPH