I’ve kind of always felt like I belonged in New York.

Something about this filth-crusted city full of hustle, vibrancy and the stench of human existence packed into a tin can has always energized me in the best of ways.

I should be exhausted having flown in from London yesterday, straight into meetings and a show, yet here I sit 8:32 AM EST at the cafe below my hotel halfway through my first cup of coffee feeling like electricity is running through my veins. Or is the coffee just THAT strong? New York diesel.

London shows were insane. Packed ass houses. SO much fun.

As much as in my last newsletter I shared that this quick 86 hour mini tour was intentionally timed to keep my mind out of the “overthinking gutter” pre TedX, I questioned once on my flight to London if I was doing too much.

Turns out I know myself pretty well…

The best part of this quick trip for my spirit wasn’t the adrenaline of speedy travel, or even the shows — it was the people.

No matter where I go, I somehow always find myself around my favorite people. It’s almost like we all have air tags on us that magnetically put us in the right cities at the right times for completely different reasons.

My best friend Courtney happened to be in London by way of LA filming a new upcoming Rebel Wilson movie. Damnit if I’m not proud of that woman — if you haven’t seen her one-woman show “Holding Court” in LA or NY it’s a MUST. She’s the best human, with the best talent, and the biggest heart. You can’t get a better combo. You can’t dream up a better friend.

Last night before my show in New York I popped by the iconic Comedy Cellar, ran into lots of people as always, and chatted with my friend Jon Laster — incredible comedian and founder of Blapp, an e-commerce platform to uplift black-owned businesses nearing 350k downloads with zero marketing. He and I meet often to “casual powwow” as both comedians and e-comm marketplace founders. He’s backed by some of the biggest comedians in the game as investors. Pretty fucking dope.

It’s amazing what cocktails of interests and hustles can beget the coolest friendships.

This morning, while riding this NYC highhhh and catchups with people I love, I’m also feeling the distance that comes with busy-ness and travel. On my flight from London to New York, my Grandma (yes, the one I talk about constantly — she’s my LIFE — and she reads this newsletter every week) had to put her dog down. Naturally, she’s heartbroken. I am heartbroken for her.

Grams, when you get to reading this, I (and WE) all love you so damn much.

…And suddenly I’m sitting in this bustling Manhattan cafe feeling the weight of being physically present in one place while emotionally needed somewhere else entirely.

The Hustle

There’s an art to learning how to show up fully wherever you physically happen to be while staying connected to the people who matter. Intentionality, more so.

It takes effort to catch up with people while traveling, but the kind of effort it takes to tie your shoe. When people matter to you more than anything, you make the choice for effort to be effortless. It just becomes routine.

Here's what nobody tells you about maintaining relationships while living out of a suitcase: it's not about grand gestures or perfectly timed phone calls. It's about showing up in the small moments. Texting Courtney while hopping a flight out of London just to say how hard she’s going to kill it on set that day. Grabbing that quick chat over hummus with Jon at Comedy Cellar instead of eating alone pre-show. Catching up with my girls Jen and Sophia after my show even though it was technically 6am for my freshly London-ized body.

Letting people know they matter to you, even in small ways, takes simply no effort.

It all comes back to creating space for connection even when your schedule looks like it was designed by someone who fundamentally misunderstands human limitations.

Then there's the other side of it — being emotionally available when you're physically unavailable.

My grandma and I still haven’t gotten to talk on the phone yet. She’s not doing well with the loss of her dog and it of course rips my heart to shreds. Apparently she couldn’t sleep last night. I put the news on my Instagram story and SO many people sent encouraging messages for me to share with Grams, when she’s ready to hear them, of course.

Thank you to my community for always showing up.

It’s times like these I wish I could teleport. But I can find a quiet corner of whatever chaos I’m in, and listen. Sometimes the most important part of the hustle is putting everything else on pause and reminding someone they’re not alone, even from thousands of miles away.

The balance will never be perfect. Sometimes I'm physically present but mentally somewhere else, and sometimes I'm emotionally invested in something happening thousands of miles away while trying to stay on-point in another country.

But that's the reality of caring about people while building a life that spans multiple time zones.

You just do it.

The Chill

It's wild how life keeps serving up real-time examples of exactly what my TedX talk is about.

Here I am, literally living the themes I'll be speaking about in just a matter of days — perhaps these are gentle nudges from above that what I’ve chosen to write and speak on will sit with so many people in so many ways.

The hard things in life — point blank — fucking suck. Eventually, we laugh again.

Sitting in this Manhattan cafe, jetlagged (not entirely, but my cells still feel like they’re catching up to my current time zone. Is that what jet lag is??) but energized, worried about my grandma but grateful for the friendships that somehow find me wherever I land — this is the real stuff. This is the hustle and chill of life. The stuff that doesn't fit neatly into productivity frameworks or business strategies, but somehow holds everything else together.

It’s the life glue. The yin and yang. The highs blended with the lows that somehow make the whole life thing work, even when it feels like a mess.

The wellness piece isn't about finding perfect balance — it's about accepting that sometimes you're going to be emotionally stretched thin, and that's not a failure of planning. It's just what happens when you care about multiple things deeply.

The trick is learning which stretching strengthens you and which kind breaks you.

For me, the stretching that strengthens is the kind that connects me to people I genuinely care about. Flying to London exhausted but lighting up when I see Courtney. Staying up late after a show to catch up with friends even when my body thinks it's 6 AM. Taking that call from my grandma even when I'm in the middle of Manhattan chaos. That stretching feeds something in me.

The stretching that breaks you is the kind that pulls you away from who you are or what you value. Saying yes to obligations that don't serve anyone. Spreading yourself so thin that you can't be fully present for the moments that actually matter. Trying to be everything to everyone instead of being genuinely available to the people who count.

Right now, sitting here before I fly back to Chicago, I can feel both kinds of stretch happening. The good kind from staying connected across time zones and continents. And yeah, maybe a little of the other kind too — TedX mental prep, travel fatigue, the wish I could be in two places at once.

I’ve learned it isn’t about eliminating the stretch. It's in getting better at recognizing which kind you're experiencing, and adjusting accordingly. Sometimes that means saying no. Sometimes it means saying yes even when it's inconvenient.

Most of the time, it means trusting that the people who matter will understand when you're doing your best with impossible logistics.

The hard things will keep fucking sucking. But we'll keep laughing again and again, because what other choice do we have?

And somewhere in between, we'll keep showing up for each other however we can.

A quick aside: this is the best part of my Tuesday mornings. I sit, wherever I am, and write from the heart. This newsletter, when I’m on stage, and when I’m in good company are my most present moments. And I cherish them big time.

It’s now 10:09 AM EST. I have become a master at knocking these newsletters out before getting on planes. Yay me.

Upcoming Shows

Today and I land in Chicago (heading to the airport as soon as I schedule this newsletter) and tomorrow we have our TedX Speaker coaching sessions. I cannot wait!

September 26th — TedX Chicago

I have 1 or 2 more live-stream tickets to give out, if anyone is available from 1-5pm central time and wants to stream the talks. First come, first served!

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We create time where it doesn’t exist. That’s a superpower.

xx NPH