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When something unexpected happens, you have two choices: get pissed about it, or find it laughable.

I'm grateful we chose option two on Sunday.

Let’s backtrack a moment… I got to Wisconsin on Thursday to spend the weekend with family and friends for my dad’s Celebration of Life.

Friday was a rough day. I was real down. Everything seemed to be going wrong and everything was getting on my nerves — a wrong food order, a stolen parking spot, an oil change, unexpected expenses, the words not coming for my speech for my dad, being added to a show when I literally wasn’t in the right city.

I was feeling the effects of compounding annoyance on top of grief.

It happens.

But then I sat outside at my parent’s house in the chairs on their back patio, where dad and I always had heart-to-hearts on any modicum of a nice day, and I said, “Tash you need to get your head out of your ass. You’re here to celebrate your father’s life, not be bogged down by dumb annoyances.”

And then the shift happened…

The wrong order ended up being better. The mis-booking was easily handled. The final words for celebrating my dad began to flow.

It was all in a choice. Decide to make it good, and it will be.

Sunday morning, the morning of my dad’s celebration, I felt the grief-driven annoyances creeping up again… I woke up late. I had errands to run on the way. I slept like shit.

My mom and her best friend had already left the house to set up for the service, and Jake, me, and my two grandma’s were riding together, tasked with picking up dad’s cake on the way — courtesy of Fosdal’s bakery in my hometown of Stoughton, Wisconsin… one of the first jobs I had in early high school and failed miserably at.

Cake’s be tough. As we will see…

Mom had told the bakery, who was familiar with these types of cakes, “Write anything you think is nice just make sure to spell ‘DEAN’ right.”

The car ride felt a bit somber. I mean, we were heading off to say our official goodbye’s to my dad. There was just a heaviness in the air.

Running behind schedule, we pull off in town. Jake and I run in to grab the cake. A massive raspberry filled sheet cake just like the one my parent’s had at their wedding.

And on the cover of the cake, decorated in beautiful penmanship:

Celebrating the life of BEAN.

Jake and I stood in the bakery just like, “Yo who is named Bean?!”

We were like, you gotta be fucking kidding…

Jake runs out to the car to tell the grandma’s about the cake incident. They call my mom’s best friend. We opted not to tell mom. Not til later, anyways.

We got in the car with the grandma’s, Jake and I just start boiling over with laugher. We were riffing in the car about what a piece of shit Bean was as a dad — nothing like Dean of course. And what kind of person would name their kid Bean?! And then one of my grandma’s goes, “Someone’s about to come in for the Bean cake and all their gonna have is the Dean cake…”

We were screaming with laughter.

We riffed about Bean all the way to the celebration.

One mistake, a pretty big one, literally made our day. I talked about it as I closed out the set of speeches for my dad, and told everyone “So today we can celebrate the life of my father, Bean Hansen.”

That’s when mom found out about the mishap. After we’d already heard all the amazing things our closest friends and family had to share about my dad. By that point, mom didn’t even care…

It became the running joke of the day. Something dad would’ve found so hilarious.

And I don’t doubt he had something to do with that mistake…

The mistake that shifted the whole day and reminded us TO LAUGH.

The Hustle

Grief has this way of making everything feel like an attack on your peace.

A wrong food order isn't just annoying — it's suddenly proof that nothing is going right. A stolen parking spot isn't just inconvenient — it's the universe confirming that everything is going to suck today.

But sitting in those chairs where dad and I used to talk, I realized I was giving random inconveniences way too much power over my weekend. I was letting small annoyances hijack what was supposed to be a celebration.

An important one.

The choice to shift my perspective wasn't easy, but it was simple. Instead of seeing everything as evidence that the day was ruined, I decided to see how things could and always do work out.

And they did.

The "Bean" cake was just the universe doubling down on that lesson. We could have been mortified, demanded a new cake, let it ruin the morning. Instead, we chose to just — let it be a fucking cake. That people eat. And it would be just as good with a B or a D.

That choice — to laugh instead of stress, to find joy instead of judgment — set the tone for the entire celebration. It reminded us that dad would want us laughing, not grieving ourselves into misery.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself, especially when you're dealing with hard shit, is decide that things are going to work out. That they are always working out.

Not because you can control what happens, but because you can control how you respond to what happens.

Lord knows if you find the humor in all the little things, you end up finding the beauty in them too.

And… it just feels better.

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The Chill

The thing about dad is that he was always the one to find the humor in a situation when everyone else was taking things too seriously.

So when "Bean" showed up on that cake, it felt like him saying, "Hey, remember me? The guy who would've been cracking up about this right now?"

Dad had this way of lightening the mood with such subtle remarks and humor. He knew the difference between honoring something and suffocating it with seriousness.

That cake mistake was such a gift.

It gave us permission to laugh on a day when we thought we were supposed to be somber. It reminded us that celebrating someone's life should actually feel celebratory.

The best memorials aren't the ones where everyone cries quietly and speaks in hushed tones. They're the ones where people tell the stories that made that person who they were — the funny ones, the ridiculous ones, the ones that make you miss them but also make you grateful you got to have them in your life.

My speech was perfect. Dad would’ve absolutely loved it.

Bean Hansen would've loved that his name got botched on his own cake. He would've made jokes about it for weeks. He would've told everyone he met about the time the bakery accidentally made him sound like a side dish.

Maybe the universe knew exactly what it was doing. Maybe dad had a hand in it.

Or maybe sometimes mistakes are just the reminder we need that life is too short to take everything so seriously.

Either way, we chose to let Bean save the day.

Long. Live. Bean.

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Upcoming Shows

Weds June 3rd — Comedians You Should Know, Chicago @ Timothy O’Toole’s

Sat June 5th — Laugh Factory Chicago 7pm, 9pm and 11pm

Fri June 12th — Laugh Factory Chicago 7pm

Fri June 19th — Laugh Factory Chicago 7pm + 9pm

Tues June 23rd — Laugh Factory Chicago 7:30pm

Fri June 25th - Sat June 26th — Opening for Jim Norton at The Den Theater Chicago

Finally about to drop pre-special taping tour dates. Thank you for your patience during this unexpected time of loss and recovery.

Love you all and cheers to the hustle + chill. We celebrate the life of Bean.

xx NPH